Episode 337: Breaking Through The Barriers To Self-Confidence

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

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Episode 337: Breaking Through The Barriers To Self-Confidence

 Hello, beautiful souls! Welcome to episode 337 of the Everyday Life Balance Show. I am your host, Pascale Gibon. Thank you for tuning in. Today, we will delve into how to break through the barriers that may dim the brilliant light of your self-confidence. 

Let us first take a moment to reflect on the three powerful principles I shared in episode 336 - « Cultivating Self-Confidence: Unleashing Your Inner Greatness »

Principle #1: Remember that the essence of self-confidence is rooted deeply in the pillars of faith, trust, and belief in oneself. This strength comes from within. Your starting point to reinforce the pillars of faith, trust, and self-belief is understanding that you are a spiritual being endowed with a human experience. Your destiny is the full expression of your soul.

Let us reflect on a famous quote from Oprah Winfrey:

“What we all want is to be able to live out the truest, highest expression of ourselves as a human being.”

Principle #2: Increasing self-confidence can start with reinforcing a positive self-image. By observing your thoughts and quietening the non-supportive critical voices, we appreciate the value in ourselves and others. This appreciation is the path to a fortified self-image and confidence.

Principle #3: Building self-confidence also means seeking knowledge. It is about growing through learning to increase your competency and self-awareness.

Now let us explore how the shadow of self-doubt can affect your life and what actionable steps you can take to reclaim your self-confidence:

We have seen that when you build inner strength, you build self-confidence. However, life can sometimes challenge our confidence, especially when we face setbacks or failures. When a romantic relationship ends, it can shatter your belief in love and yourself if things do not work out as hoped or if your partner does not change. Since you have developed such beliefs, you might hesitate to look for your best match and remain single for a long time. However, it is crucial to face these challenges, understand the beliefs that hold us back and step forward with renewed faith and trust in the possibility of change and growth. Developing a 'Bounce Back' strategy will help you build self-confidence.

Let us take inspiration from the extraordinary journey of the bestseller and international motivational speaker Lisa Nichols. 

Lisa started her adult life with her partner being sent to prison when their son was only eight months old. She remembers the financial struggle and feeling guilty about putting herself and her son in such a situation, the mistakes and the poor decisions she made. 

She got engaged to get married in her thirties when her son was three years old. Five months before the wedding, she knew intuitively that something was off and that something would happen that day. Nothing happened until 3.20 the following morning. She wakes up with her then fiancé wrapping his hands around her neck, shocking her until she passes out. Three days later, he picks her up and throws her three feet across the room. Lisa was so angry with herself because she did not follow her intuition. It took years for her to recover from her ordeal. Despite the adversities she faced, from financial struggles to confronting post-traumatic diagnosis, her story is one of triumph. Lisa bravely says about her love life: “She never wanted her partner to come into her chaos because she believed her partner deserved her to have done more work.” How beautiful! Her healing process, learning to love herself again, loving who she saw in the mirror, trusting in her worth, and her ultimate success in finding true love are testaments to the power of faith, trust, and self-belief. She is now happily married to her Mr Right at 55.

To develop confidence, it is essential to first embrace courage.

The courage to:

• Take your first step
• To reach out
• To show up for yourself every day.

It is this courage that fuels what I call D.M.D.

D.M.D is an acronym for Desire, Motivation and Determination.

• Your desire to pursue your dream must be strong.
• Your motivation behind your decision must be clear. 
• Your determination to excel or commit to completion no matter what makes you unstoppable and must be resolute.

According to James Clear in the bestseller “Atomic Habits,” it is not goals but systems that shape outcomes. He says: "Forget about goals, focus on systems instead." So let us apply this idea to boost your confidence. Where in your life is a lack of confidence keeping you stuck? 

Let us say it is in your career. You wish to launch a new business. You have the idea, yet you have not taken your first step. To boost your confidence, I want you to reflect on your journey and past successes. Think of something you have achieved or helped someone else with. What are the strategies that led you there? Understanding these patterns will show you that success is not a one-time event but a process you can replicate and tailor to new aspirations. 

I believe that one can nurture confidence daily through supportive habits. An example is creating a morning or evening routine that keeps you grounded. These rituals act as pillars, maintaining your balance and supporting the growth of your confidence. To nurture your confidence daily, I recommend incorporating practices that resonate with you and reflect your commitment to personal development. Remember that stagnation is a form of resistance.

Here are ways you can embrace your personal growth routine to build self-confidence:

• Devote, let us say, 20 minutes of your time each morning to activities that foster growth, such as reading a personal development book and a spiritual practice that would include prayer, meditation, breathing exercises or stretching. 
• Your morning routine could be going to the gym at six am. Do something first thing in the morning that makes you feel alive and resonates with you.
• In addition, I encourage you to include gratitude in your daily practice since it can transform your perspective and elevate your spirit. Here is a gratitude exercise you can do. I got this from my mentor, Bob Proctor: 

1. 1. Name ten things you are grateful for. 
   2. Send love to three people you disagree with.
   3. Create your affirmation for the day: For example, "I commit to providing a sacred healing space for my clients today," if you are a healer.

 Let me give you another example of a morning routine. It is «The Miracle Morning, » as authored by Hal Elrod.

Here is a breakdown of "The Miracle Morning" framework:

SAVERS

S. Silence - allow some quiet time through prayer, meditation or mindfulness.

A. Affirmation - First, create your affirmation for the day. Affirm what you commit to in life. Secondly, confirm why it is a must for you. Thirdly, identify the specific actions you will take. For example, I commit to writing my online course to retire my wife. I schedule one miracle hour dedicated to writing with no interruptions. 

V. Visualisation - visualise in advance or mentally rehearse the steps you need to move towards your vision.

E. Exercise - Hal Herold recommends a 1-minute cardio workout. Maximising your physical energy will help increase your clarity and focus.

R. Reading - read a personal development or spiritual book to start the day right.

S. scribbling or journaling by putting your thoughts and action steps to paper. 

Regarding your evening routine, you can create a pre-sleep routine.

Here are some suggestions from the bestselling author of “The 5 AM Club” and top leadership expert, Robin Sharma: 

• Create a winding down ritual. Your ritual could be a meditation or a warm bath.
• Listen to relaxing music or your favourite sound.
• Stay away from the screen three hours before sleep time. 
• Reflect on the day by asking yourself: what are the three good things that happened to me today? This question allows you to end the day with positivity. 

As we close this episode, I invite you to take that first step towards building self-confidence. Remember, the path to self-assertiveness lies in your small, daily actions. Keep moving outside of your comfort zone with a morning routine that works best for you, and let each step be a testament to your growth and resilience. 

Thank you for joining me today, and remember, you have the power to break through the barriers to your self-confidence. Keep shining, striving and, most importantly, loving the incredible person you are.

I am sending you all my love and light. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode of The Everyday Life Balance Show.